Act first, make a decision, and only afterwards find out what you want or which direction things will go.
Between my first and second job.
Feeling something is both very good and frightening at the same time.
Often, you feel it first, have to make a decision, and only later understand or are able to explain “why.”
I had just graduated and had been working for six months at an architecture firm in The Hague as a technical draftsman. I was learning a lot, everything was new, challenging, and it was actually quite enjoyable. But somewhere it didn’t feel like what I really wanted. I just didn’t know what I did want. Let alone how or where. I might have been a bit naïve about the world… maybe. I had had that vague feeling for a few months already, but I kept going dutifully. As one is “supposed” to do, of course.
Despite that, I resigned. Which felt very strange — I had never done that before, and why actually? Because of a feeling? It sounded rather childish. On top of that, I couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents that I had resigned, and at the same time have to mention that I had absolutely no idea what would come next. I wasn’t really looking forward to that inevitable “grilling moment.” By the way, I have very kind parents. You know the type — parents who want the best for you, come from a different time, and think you shouldn’t do anything too crazy. Even though they themselves have partly done exactly that… those kinds of parents!
What did I know? I could get by financially for three or four months, so I gave myself two months to come up with a solution. After that, I would have to come clean and tell them.
In short, I had given myself “freedom,” but not really peace of mind. Back when I was still studying, I would always go to the architecture library whenever I didn’t know what to do. It was mainly to have the feeling that I was “studying,” even though it often resulted in just “looking at pictures” and occasionally reading something. I did see a lot, though — that’s true.
So I did the same now. Back to my “safe space.” I browsed through the shelves and somehow ended up picking up a green/cream-colored book by Jo Coenen, and as I often do, I started reading from back to front. As it happened, at the end of that book there was an interview with Jo Coenen in which he explained his ideas about urban design and architecture. I read it and thought: “Hey, this is exactly what I did in my graduation project!” Clearly, I was not hindered by having absolutely no experience.
I talked about it with a friend, and she told me that Iris, a former classmate of ours, worked for Jo. Time for action. I then wrote an extremely naïve (even now, 27 years later, I still think so — though with a big smile) “application letter” in which I never explicitly asked for a job, but mainly talked about how interesting it was that we shared the same ideas about architecture. Again, the fact that I had no professional experience whatsoever did not seem like any obstacle to me at the time.
Iris was kind enough to give that letter (no portfolio included — just words) to Jo, and within a few days I received a message asking me to report to the Sint Servaasklooster in Maastricht at 9:00 a.m. on a certain date. Armed without a portfolio, but with a folder of A4 copies of my graduation project, I set off. The idea behind the loose A4 sheets was that I could lay out my entire graduation project “all at once” on the table and explain it better… my friends had mixed opinions about that, to put it mildly!
I had a nice conversation with Jo (much longer than expected, much to the secretary’s dissatisfaction), and indeed I spread my A4 sheets boldly across his rather messy desk. At the end he asked: “And now, do you have a question for me?” I didn’t immediately understand what he meant, and when no answer came, he started to chuckle and said that Lei (the office manager) would take care of the rest with me — and off he went.
Later, on the train back, I had to laugh about it — getting a job without explicitly asking for one. How does that even happen?
The rest is history. After that, I worked for Jo Coenen for five years in various roles, with many wonderful people — Jo Coenen & Co Maastricht, Atelier Rijksbouwmeester The Hague, JCAU Amsterdam.
All because of an initial feeling of “I don’t know, but something has to change…” The series of moments and events that followed changed a lot in my life. For the better!
Follow your instincts — you often have a better chance of finding happiness that way!
Good luck with everything!
Chris
This is definitely not meant as an example to follow, but rather as encouragement to follow your own instincts. Then do it your way, not mine. I was genuinely naïve — you shouldn’t try to fake something like that…
